Hello everyone! Well, it’s pretty much halfway through the year (whoa!)…how quickly has this year gone?! Anyway, here’s this week’s update:
-Firstly, I’m back on track with my Curves Complete program! After having almost 2 weeks off (thanks respiratory infection and crazy diabetes levels), I still managed to lose half a kilo in this time! So, I’m starting to approach the 10 kilo weight loss mark (give me a month or so though to reach it though!) In all honesty though, it’s not about the weight I’m losing: it’s about being a healthier person. My diabetes levels are SO much better when I’m exercising regularly, and I too feel healthier, more alert and energised. So, the weight loss is an added bonus to all of those things. I’m so glad I’ve been able to add exercise back into my life so easily, and love seeing these gradual (but permanent) changes to my body and health 🙂
-I’ve also really been thinking about working on my confidence over the past week. In all honesty, I think at present, this is the most confident I’ve ever been about myself. Though, I do have a long way to go still until I’m completely accepting of myself all of the time. So, I’ve started reading a few books related to becoming more body confident and style confident as a plus-sized person, particularly by “fat activists” (as I feel these books speak more to me than any written by slim athletes and the like). Over the week in passing, I’ve read Hot and Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion by Virgie Tovar (highly recommend) and have started reading Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary (also highly recommend). The Beautiful You book is a 365 day journal-based book in becoming confident, and as much I’m doing journal entries each day to go with the daily reading for this book. I’ve read a couple of other amazing books too which has inspired me.
-Also (warning in advance: the following update in this paragraph was hard for me to put into words. Apologies if it sounds harsh or judgemental or anything. I’m just trying to be HONEST with myself on this one). I’m slowly realising that while I am plus-sized and overweight (according to BMI and standards), I’m not actually that “fat” or unhealthy. Where I work, for example, is a bit strange in terms of the size of people, as the majority of people are healthy or quite thin. So I feel that sometimes I can stick out like a sore thumb occasionally because of this (though, my quirky dress sense doesn’t help this, haha). However, it doesn’t make me an “elephant in the room” or equivalent. I think as well that because I focus so much on the areas of me I think are massive compared to other people (particularly my stomach), I don’t have a realistic view of the rest of my body and how the proportions are actually above-average, rather than anything morbidly obese. I’m not trying to compare myself to others, but it’s making me realise yet again that my focus is really about being confident with myself (rather than focusing on losing weight at the gym, for example, I want to focus on making myself as healthy as possible for good diabetes control and to keep my body young). So, I’m going to work on focusing on the positive features I find with my body, and hopefully dressing more to compliment these.
-I’ve really been struggling with my diabetes (and how it makes me look at work) this week. I keep having low blood sugar levels, which ultimately knocks me out from being useful until I’m able to fix them. I struggle with feeling that my diabetes makes me look less professional. Yes, before you get started on how it shouldn’t (discrimination etc), I know that it doesn’t actually. However, I do take things personally, and I tend to beat myself up when I have a hypo at work and physically have to stop working and take it easy. I know I can’t help it (and that others understand), but I feel like I’m letting the office down when I have to stop for health reasons. It frustrates me how much my diabetes can sometimes control my ability to do things.
-I have to disclose a new obsession of mine: Boost Juice. Originally (back in the day when I was a student), I used to think that it was a complete rip-off in getting juice from a company. However, when I was feeling quite under-the-weather over the past few weeks, I discovered the Immunity Boost Juice and have gotten hooked. I always worry I’m not getting enough fruit and veg, and considering everything is fresh and made on the spot (and they can guarantee gluten-free with my favourite drinks, woo!), I’ve gotten hooked. I need to make this a treat though, as I know that juice can be quite bad for you too (you lose the fibre and nutrients from not actually eating the pieces of fruit itself, plus there’s a lot of sugar in there). However, it’s good to find a healthier treat on campus (their chocolate protein smoothie is to die for).
-Over the past week, I’ve gotten over my respiratory infection and crazy diabetes levels. However, in return I’ve been feeling nauseous all week. One day, I was absolutely certain I had food poisoning as it was that bad. Before you think anything, no, I am not pregnant. I think now (on the other side of the weekend), I’m thinking it was just a bit of food poisoning, combined with not having enough veggies/healthy food choices over the past week. I’m hoping I won’t be ill for a while now, as I’ve had my fair share of illness over the past year so far (touch wood I don’t get tonsillitis!)
-I’ve also reflected on my clothing over the past week. Anyone that’s very close to me will know that I have way too much clothing: even after moving, I still have clothing at my parents’ house! There’s so many items of clothing which I don’t know will still fit me, or whether they look good on me, so I’ve been a bit of a hoarder with my wardrobe. In line with my body confidence self-campaign and doing a daily journal, I want to also make my wardrobe better: a more honest portrayal of myself and my style (rather than a selection of things I love, things I hang on to as they fit and can be for crappy days, and things I’m unsure of whether they fit me/look good on me). So, over the next few weeks, I’m aiming to clear out my wardrobe. The goal is to get rid of one third, or even half of my wardrobe items, which will most likely be donated to charity out of good karma hopes. I will then have a clean slate, having only held onto items that make me feel confident, express my style and fit me well. I’ll then be able to op-shop or buy new items, however want to try and follow this manta when I do: whenever an item is purchased, one item in my wardrobe has to be thrown away/donated etc. I’m hoping this will keep me in line from making frivolous purchases, and only choosing items which truly reflect my style and make me feel confident and happy when wearing them.
-Man, oh man. After the past two weeks I am yearning for it to be our honeymoon. It’s a while away still (end of September), yet I am so ready to have our overseas adventure. I had a moment last week where I worried about gluten-free options on our cruise. However, the cruise company was quick to confirm via email that they have gluten-free options as standards on their menus, completely being able to cater for coeliacs. If we decide to go to one of the restaurants on the cruise, they can also accommodate. They’re also going to ensure our room has a fridge (so I can store my insulin), as well as a sharps container for my insulin pump supplies! So, I’m feeling more relieved and very excited about our cruise. Once we get our tax returns, we’re going to be purchasing all of our day trips, as well as our flights. It’s all becoming very real, and I simply cannot wait to have a break overseas, as well as an amazing adventure with my husband.
That’s about it for the week in passing. I didn’t realise how health and body-centred it would be, sorry, haha! Thanks for reading and following my progress 🙂