Well, I was waiting for a week when things wouldn’t go so well, and here it is. This post is probably going to be not very inspirational as I had a rough week. Sorry guys 🙁
-This week (and I am extremely ashamed to admit this), I was unable to get to the gym, however it seems that I’ve maintained my current weight loss. I’ve had an incredibly stressful week, with my leg playing up again and requiring me to return to the dermatologist this week. I’ve also been quite anxious this week and had some good old panic attacks, yay. So, because of this, I had to step back and sort out a few things this week to get back on track.
-After lots of thought, I’ve decided to defer my Masters to next session. This session is full of uncertainty for me with several things, and I’m finding that I can’t get into this session’s subject because of it. I’m currently 4-5 weeks behind with no hope of catching up….it would have been ok if everything else was sorted, however it isn’t (sorry if that sounds so vague, but I can’t expand on that atm) So, I’m going to look into deferring this week, so I can start the course when things are more permanent for me. I’ll have an awesome subject to start with for that session, anyway 🙂
-So, my leg. I haven’t told too many people about what my leg actually is (I might even need another post to do this). So, I have Necrobiosis Lipoidica Diabeticorum on my leg (otherwise known as NLD). Basically, in English, I get ulcers on my leg which do not heal up well, and have an unknown cause and cure. All that’s known is that 3% of type 1 diabetics will get it, and more than likely females. So, yeah….a year ago I found out I had this, and together with a team of doctors and dermatologists (who have never really seen this condition-apparently it’s a bit rare in the region!) have been trying to heal up the one on my left leg (which I’ve had since 2010). This is why I’ve been wearing a bandage/covering on my leg for forever. Since Christmas it seemed like my ulcer was finally healed and it was just up to getting the scarring down, however over the past two weeks, it’s become inflamed and possible infected again. To stay this is frustrating and disappointing is an understatement. I’ve been in a bit of pain because of it, so hopefully it’s sorted this week. But yep…I have a trifecta of conditions with unknown causes and cures, yay. Haha.
-I’ve been frustrated this week about the pace of things happening. There’s so many things I’d like to start doing for my future, however I’m just waiting for decisions to be made. It’s been really stressful because I’m stuck in the unknown for a couple of months with plans “on hold”. I’ve just got to keep my head down and do my best for now with what I have 🙂
-I’ve been quite anxious this week, but I should probably explain something. I’ve realised that I’ve been quite sucky as a friend of recent because of this. Of late, I’ve become quite shy and reserved, even with old friends, because I know I’ve changed and have been sucky as I haven’t kept in touch. And even making new friends means I overthink every single thing about what could go wrong sometimes. So, I do apologise for my awkwardness and inability to keep up with socialising or contact recently…it’s probably because I’m trying to get used to balancing health/work/life etc still. I don’t like admitting that I am quite anxious when it comes to making/keeping friends…so anyone out there who’s an old or new friend…I’d love to hear from you if you’re willing to keep in touch and I’ll try to not be so anxious about it all. I may require people to be patient with me though for the above reasons. Anyway, just wanted to mention it.
Sorry that this post has been quite dull and gloomy-I’m ok now, but the last week was quite trying on my nerves. I do have an amazing family, boyfriend and some close friends who have been truly epic over this past week, and I cannot thank them enough for being patient with me and being so supportive. Hopefully there’ll be more positive reports for the following week 🙂