“It’s not a Tamagotchi, damn it!” The 10 things that can annoy every Diabetic with an Insulin Pump.

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  1. You will be asked “Is that a pedometer/pacemaker/pager/tamagotchi?” *facepalm*
  2. Your pump is/was worth more than pretty much everything you own. I remember when I first got my pump in high school and then realising it was worth more than my first car (which I had just bought)…you feel quite nervous having something so valuable just attached to your skirt. I know health insurance in Australia has made pumps way more affordable now, but around the world these beeping machines are still very costy.
  3. You have to ensure you put the pump cap on before hugging your significant other (if you’re not wearing much….) otherwise the scratches the pump site leaves on them will cause unnecessary and awkward questions from others about your antics.
  4. Forget wearing any tummy-revealing outfits in summer (such as a bikini etc) but NOT because it doesn’t suit you (I completely agree that anybody is welcome to wear a bikini, regardless of your body type, if you love yourself and have the confidence!) It’s because of the rashes and scarring of old set pump sites and how irritated they become when the teeniest bit of sweat is nearby.
  5. That moment of panic when you take out an old pump site and blood goes everywhere. Sure, you see blood everyday when testing blood sugar levels, but there’s nothing like having a burst of blood come out of your stomach from nowhere. Try to avoid doing set changes near carpet, or white kitchen counter-tops (I speak from experience, oops).
  6. Feeling like a badass at an airport when having to get special clearance to get through security without going through the x-ray machines….Oh wait, did I say bad ass? I meant pain in the ass.
  7. You can’t really be spontaneous when having a pump. Do your friends want to throw you into a pool? Nope, not happening. Does your significant other suddenly initiate some intimate time? Oh wait…you have to awkwardly take off your pump first. Road trip? You’d better make sure you have enough insulin juice for the trip? Bed time? Nahhhh you need to do a set change first. It makes any spontaneous action attempted by others awkward as you have to prep, regardless.
  8. You’ll never be able to carry a small bag anywhere. If you like to travel, at least 1/3 of your luggage will be taken up with pump supplies (usually double the amount needed for the trip), a spare insulin pump and the myriad of documentation you need to prove that you’re not a terrorist (true story: I travelled through a regional airport in Australia which had absolutely no idea what my pump was, and thought I was trying to do something illegal. Which was annoying.)
  9. Wearing pumps under clothing can be hard. Pumps can be quite heavy, and if you’re only using the band of your undergarments to keep the pump in place, there’s potential for wardrobe malfunctions and accidently dacking yourself. Again, true story.
  10. You find yourself carrying strange things with you on a daily basis for pump maintenance. For example, I always carry AAA batteries (the pump’s battery of choice) and a stack of 5-cent coins (the coins are the perfect size and type of metal to open up the pump’s battery compartment without damaging it).

While there are a lot of annoying things about having an insulin pump (which I thought I’d share on here so you can see the humour), the positives definitely outweigh these things. Since getting an insulin pump in late 2006, I’ve been able to live a relatively normal life. I also can call myself a part cyborg, which is pretty cool. 🙂

This post was polished by Page & Parchment.

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