Monthly Archives: December 2014

2014 in Review

So, as you would know, I set up this blog (initially) as a public motivation to work towards goals I set myself each year. A place where I was held accountable to report in each week and to monitor progress over the year. It was an added incentive when dear friends and new friends began to read each week, follow progress and provide lots of encouragement, which I’m so incredibly thankful for.

Therefore, without further ado, let’s see how I’ve gone with meeting my goals for 2014:

In 2014 I:

-Will strive to keep this blog updated at least once a week

I’ve finally made writing a weekly habit, with the occasional extra post here and there over the past year on topics of interest. What matters more, however, is that rather than just writing up each post in one sitting, I take the time to plan out each post and report back on the goals I’ve set over the year. Next year, I intend to post (hopefully) at least twice a week, with more than just updates on my goals for the year. 🙂

-Will refuse to be defined by how much I weigh or what medical conditions I have.

This year has brought a lot of challenges regarding how I perceive myself and my confidence. However, I feel this year I’ve definitely become a lot more accepting of myself and my physical/medical state. Whilst both have been the main cause of feeling low self esteem at times this year, I’m starting to see how I can appreciate and love myself for who I am. There’s many worse things that someone can be instead of being plus-sized, and I could be a lot worse of medical-conditions wise. Whilst both are part of what shapes my identity, I don’t solely view them as what makes this up, and don’t view them as a form of setback.

-Will get married, and start to develop a marriage more beautiful than our wedding. We’re aiming for five-ever (as it’s more than forever, hahah!)

Hell yes, I got married. IT WAS AWESOME. IT STILL IS AWESOME. And, whilst our wedding day was exactly what we had dreamed and hoped for, I actually find myself loving married life so much more than the wedding day we had. We also had our amazing honeymoon across Japan, South Korea and China, where we hope to return to in the near-future for more adventures. This year, we started (officially) our “family life” as a connected unit. From sickness to financial worries and working on anxiety and stress, my husband has proved to me over and over again this year that he will always be by my side, and that together we can achieve anything. I cannot wait to see what 2015 bring us.

-Will aim to keep my mind open and constantly learning by reading. I hope to complete a new book at least once a fortnight.

Unfortunately, life around planning and having a wedding, honeymoon and starting postgraduate study means I didn’t get to read a book once a fortnight. A positive from this was that I started my postgraduate studies and am on track to complete a qualification sometime in the next year. However, in 2014 I have found myself instead doing a lot of research in other mediums, particularly through the internet. From academic journals (for study mostly), to discussions via Tumblr and posts on Instagram, I feel I have expanded my mind in not limiting myself to just the printed medium. I have discovered some amazing scholars, thinkers, activists, bloggers and authors this year, which in turn has given me a massive (yet exciting) reading list for 2015. 🙂

-Will no longer be a slave to the “plus-size” fashion industry by staring to make my own clothes (and hopefully learn to sew quite well by the end of the year).

Unfortunately, like the above goal, life got in the way of this goal being achieved. I have, however, been able to start preparing to make this a more realistic goal for 2015. I spent 2014 gathering supplies such as patterns, books and fabric. Over the start of 2015, my husband and I are planning to set up a “craft space” for me, where I will able to make this a reality. In fact, I am working on another creative goal for 2015 (which I will mention when I post my 2015 goals on here shortly). I am thankful that, due to a missed opportunity this year, a huge positive is that I will be able to have some time set aside to work on my creative hobbies.

-Will try to stress less by seeing that very few situations are a crisis.

I feel that I’ve improved my stress and anxiety levels in leaps and bounds this year (outside of work, at least). Well, it was pretty stressful planning a wedding and honeymoon, but especially over the past few months, I’ve become a bit more carefree and realistic about what is worth worrying over. I’ve had quite a few bumps in the road work-wise this year, where I’ve been justifiably stressed and anxious. However, I’ve worked hard to maintain a positive attitude for the end the year, and having hope and optimism for what the new year can bring.

-Will persevere at my quest towards being more healthier and in control of my health.

Thanks to my gym, Curves, the Curves Complete program, supportive family and friends and a great team of my diabetes doctors, I have worked very hard to maintain this goal in 2014. Not only do I currently weigh less than I did this time last year, I am also the fittest I’ve been in what I count as my “adult life” so far. My diabetes levels have improved dramatically, which I’ve been trying to achieve for almost 10 years. I also managed to see physical changes to my body, as did others. Whilst diabetes, being quite sick this year and having my NLD on my leg can cause me to plateau with progress throughout the year, I still am in a better place than I was last year. I’m so proud that I’ve shown such initiative and stuck to this goal in 2014. I cannot wait to see what I can achieve for myself and my health in 2015!

What a year! Thanks for sharing it with me, and I can’t wait to share the adventures of 2015 with you all. Happy New Year! 🙂

I am not a Beached Whale: How I’ve started to accept my “beach body”

Today, I did something that I haven’t done for about 15 years (at least). I went to the beach without wearing some form of shorts/cover-up based clothing. Instead, I opted for a retro styled one piece:

We even took a pic at the beach, and no one cared. Added fox tail for authenticity, haha.

We even took a pic at the beach, and no one cared. Added fox tail for authenticity, haha.

This was a massive achievement for me, as I’ve always struggled with body confidence at the beach. Not only do I burn so easily (no joke, hubby and I spent 30 minutes putting on sunscreen), but I’m extremely self conscious about being seen in a swimsuit for many reasons. Firstly, thanks to almost 20 years of needing insulin injections (thanks Type 1 Diabetes) in my tummy area, my stomach is quite weirdly shaped due to what is known as an “insulin belly”: a build up of tissue/fat from so many years of injections. Unfortunately, trying injections and insulin pump sites on my thighs and bum didn’t really work for me, so I had to stick to using my stomach area. So, I’ve never been confident to wear anything remotely close to my skin to the beach, and was luckily able to use my excuse of getting sunburnt so easily as a reason to cover up.

Secondly, thanks to my NLD scar on my leg, I’ve felt very self-conscious about showing this scar around the beach too (even if the salt water is actually quite good for it).

However, the main reason would be due to being plus-sized. Due to my larger frame, I’ve naturally felt scared to hit the beach…thanks to years of teasing and harsh words from others at school swimming events, excursions and parties. Yes, I have been called a “beached whale” before.

Today though, hubby and I decided that we’d give the beach a try. We’re pretty certain that we’ve actually never been to the beach since we’ve been together, and after a hard day’s work at home, we wanted a summer reward. I trawled through my swimwear, feeling pretty awkward and worrying about how I’d look after the past week of eating yummy (but not gym-friendly) food. In the last second, I managed to find a retro black one-piece (brand new) which I picked up on an op-shop run. After deciding to try it on, hubby was very quick to tell me how beautiful I looked and, even before I suggested putting on some board shorts to cover up, that I could rock the one piece. Here I was, getting anxious about what others would think…others who I didn’t even know and would (likely) never see again. Why should I care about what they think, when the person whose opinion matters to me most thinks that I’m beautiful?

So, without further ado, we headed off to the beach. We’re very lucky to be surrounded by beaches within 5 minutes of our place, so we decided to hit a quieter beach (it’s a dog friendly beach, so having cute dogs everywhere was a plus too!). Once we got there, it was evident that because of how long and spacious the beach was, the people who were there were doing their own thing and not really caring about everyone else. We got our own little section of the beach to ourselves, and I jumped in the waves like the big little kid I am.

And you know what? No one cared that I was in a one piece swimsuit that showed my thighs and my body. No one!

I felt confident and happy, and still do. It was awesome, and I can’t wait to hit the beaches again this summer. Hopefully I can bring some friends along 🙂

2014- Week 52!

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WOW! It’s the final week of 2014, therefore here begins my final weekly update post of the year. It’s been such a pleasure sharing this journey with you 🙂 Here’s what’s happened over the past week (including Christmas):

-I had an awesome previous week with the Curves Complete program. I worked so hard to achieve my step goals for 6/7 days, including exceeding my goal by several thousand on a few days. I also got to the gym 4 times, kept reasonably well to the meal plan and drank lots of water. I thought I’d see some results, and really hoped to see some to keep me motivated. However, instead it seemed I was to gain 500gm, even after all of my hard work. So, the past few weeks I have either maintained my weight and gained a few hundred grams. It’s so incredibly frustrating as it would be nice to see some actual results on scales and measurements for motivation to keep going. In the end, my coaches and I decided we’d revisit things in the new year (Christmas and NYE week is a week where I’ve had a week off the meal plan). I’m trying to stay positive because of all the health benefits I’ve seen so far with my diabetes from the gym, but it would be so lovely to start seeing some physical progress again, rather than hitting a plateau.

-Work for the year finished for me at 3pm on Christmas Eve. Since then, I have had an awesome break. I have done nothing but relax, spend time at home with my husband, visiting and catching up with family and friends, eat good food, gaming, reading and writing. The time is being used, in my opinion, in the best way possible to recharge my batteries before starting my work year for 2015. Before I start back on the 2nd, I’m hoping to get to the beach at least once, have a picnic with my husband, continue to sleep in (well, “sleep in” for me is anytime after 6:30am…), make some plans and goals for 2015 and develop the positive mindset I’d like to take into the new year. It is so good to have a break which I can use however needed to prepare for the new year. I hope you’re also having a relaxing and refreshing break!

-Christmas has been wonderful this year. Firstly, it’s been the first Christmas Ray and I have had as a married couple (which made it feel a bit more special than usual). Secondly, we’re very lucky to have families who are so loving and welcoming, so we got to attend two Christmas celebrations which included *almost* having two Christmas lunches. On Christmas morning, I even got to run into an old friend, which was so lovely 🙂 Plus, we also received some very thoughtful gifts from family members, which we’re incredibly thankful for. My brother and his wife gifted us something which we’ve been wanting to have for a while: a good amount of the components needs to build a new computer! We’ll have a few things to get before it’s completed, but it’s something which we were needing, but couldn’t justify costs for at the moment. My best friend, Kate has used her amazing talent at restoring furniture to craft us a new coffee table, which is absolutely beautiful. It’s another item we couldn’t justify purchasing, but did need (especially considering our “makeshift” coffee table is a plank of wood help up by cardboard boxes!) Not only has she restored a beautifully varnished piece, but it’s also received detailing in a “Kimono Red” colour, and has a small drawer space underneath which is lined with oriental-patterned paper. It is a very vesatile piece, which will be good for storing our dices and supplies or Dungeons and Dragons games, and also blends well into the style of furniture we’d like to have in our place (fusion vintage/Asian/retro) I was also incredibly lucky to receive some Doctor Who memorabilia from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law: not only did I receive my own 10th Doctor Sonic Screwdriver, I also received a Tardis necklace and a Tardis Teapot (which matches my Tardis teacup perfectly!) Therefore, as you can see, we’re yet again blown away by the generosity of our family members. It’s been absolutely wonderful sharing this special time of the year with them.

That’s really all the updates I have for the final week of 2014. I will, however, be putting up a post on the 31st/1st (later this week) reviewing how 2014 has gone in relation to my goals, as well as my goals for 2015. So, until then, thanks for reading! 🙂

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2014- Week 51

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Hi everyone! Welcome to the new and improved version of my blog! I’m still working on a couple of things in the background to make sure it’s ready for the new year, but regardless, have moved over to the new hosting. I’d love to hear what you think of the new look on here so far 🙂

It’s now the second last week for the year, which means I’ll have just one more post to do after this before my blog undergoes its changes for 2015! 🙂 Here’s what I’ve been up to:

-As you can see, my blog is looking a bit different! Over the past few days, hubby has been helping me move it over to a new host, and we’ve started customising the site/design to suit what I’m after. It’s taken some time, however the new host (Go Daddy) has been incredible and very helpful. I highly recommend them for any bloggers in Australia! I’m hoping to make this more of a website (much more personalised and lots more posts, woohoo!), with integration with some of my social media such as Instragram and Tumblr. You’ll also see my posts having categories and tags too, as I’d like to find like-minded bloggers and peeps too. I’m also hoping to advertise some of my favourite blogs and sellers on here too, so I can help spread the word about some amazing peeps. It’s got a bit of work to be done still, but we’re on track to having it ready for 2015. For now, I’ll keep doing my regular “update” posts until the new year, and then start releasing some of the other articles and blog posts I’ve written 🙂

 
-I am really proud of the effort I’ve made this week to have a positive and productive week. I’ve had a few weeks with bouts of negativity and feeling down, therefore I really dedicated myself towards having a positive mindset this week. Firstly, whilst I had a rough week previously on the Curves Complete Program, I have smashed my goals over the past week. I’ve exceeded my step goals and levels of activity on most days of the week. I’ve also been to the gym 4 times this week, and stuck to my meal plan. At work, I’ve really tried hard to stay positive and friendly, even if I’ve had to “fake it” until I started feeling positive. The impact it has on others, as well as the confidence and motivation it gives me has been so noticeable this week. So, I’m really hoping to start working on some goals and plans to keep myself aiming for a more positive mindset.

 
-As I’m trying to cut out soft drink and decrease my caffeine intake, I’ve been drinking two things a lot recently: tea and SodaStream. I might write a detailed post about tea in particular in the next few weeks (as I’m starting to try a variety, as well as become more obsessed with the T2 range). In the meantime, Sodastream has been lifesaver for me in helping me cut down on dodgy soft drinks like Pepsi Max and Coke Zero. I know if you have the syrups flavours in the Sodastream ,it isn’t that much healthier…however I’ve been having bubbly water infused with fresh lemons and cucumber, which is helping me get over the addictive nature of soft drinks. When I do have a flavoured Sodastream, I’ve been having the Sugarfree (Stevia) Pink Grapefruit, which is very yummy.

-I can’t wait to celebrate Christmas later this week! It’s Ray and my first Christmas as a married couple, and we’re very lucky to get to spend it with both sides of the family, including nieces and a nephew. I love this time of year due to its family focus, however I know that some people will also find this a very lonely time of the year. So, my thoughts go out to anyone who may be having their first Christmas without a family member, or is alone for Christmas. I’ve been thankful to see some friends make up their own “families” at this time of the year to help friends feel welcomed, loved and valued. It’s really fantastic seeing the generosity and goodwill at this time of year 🙂

Other than crazily getting ready for Christmas, and working on the revamp of this blog, that’s all I’ve really been up to this week. Thanks for reading and have a very Merry Christmas and safe holidays!

-Mrs Ginger Fox xx

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2014- Week 50!

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10 days til Christmas…and I have so much Christmas shopping to do still. With less than two weeks to go at work, I’m pretty excited and can’t wait for the break 🙂 Here’s what’s been happening over the past week:

-This post will be the last post you’ll see on my blog/website in its current format. On Friday, my husband and I will be working on moving my blog over to new hosting and making up the new layout (so it will be all set for the New Year). There may be some down-time, therefore apologies if there is during this time. I’m aiming that all the posts will be exported over, however there may be a small chance that some of my older posts will be lost. Anyway, I’m a bit nervous, but excited about the changes coming up to this site. I hope it inspires me to write more posts and ones with very different and varied content, and am hoping it too inspires you to keep reading here 🙂

-Curves Complete has been really tough to balance around my lifestyle this week. I’ve had Christmas parties, errands to run for Christmas, and crazy storms which has meant I haven’t gotten to the gym as much as I’d like to. I also had a hypo at the gym, therefore meaning that I didn’t get to complete one of my workouts. Also, hubby and I wanted to spend some quality time together this week, as we’ve been so busy. I didn’t get my steps up to speed this week due to dodgy weather and being busy around work, however we’ve been aiming to eat well over the past week with lots of salads. However, I know that I haven’t done my best over the past week and am disappointed with myself, and I know my gym coaches will be too. It is my fault though, and I’m hoping to try harder this week and (once we get to go food shopping) have more healthier food choices and less temptations of bad food because of stress.

-Over the past week, I’ve had a couple of people comment that I’m not as positive as I normally have been over the past year (particularly in the workplace). This year in particular has been difficult for me in this environment due to seeing so much negativity, lack of compassion from higher-ups and good people being taken advantage of and not being offered opportunities. It’s been really hard for me to maintain a positive attitude when so many changes have happened which haven’t had a great outcome in the end. I’ve also had a really tough time this year with my diabetes and immune system (including my WorkCover injury), where I’ve had to take a lot of sick leave. This has made me feel so guilty and that I’ve been letting the office down. It’s such a contrast, because out of this environment (in my everyday life), I’ve felt more positive than I’ve ever been as an adult. Therefore, I’m going to start working on maintaining positivity in all parts of life (including the workplace), even if I have to fake it. This week in particular, as well as the next few weeks are going to be particularly hard to apply this to (for various reasons which I won’t mention here), but I guess it’s better to be thrown in the deep end to begin with. I’m sorry if there’s anyone who has been impacted by my lack of being positive all the time 🙁

-This week I had my first trial of running a Dungeons and Dragons game, where my husband was the test player. It was just a small dungeon based in the Forgotten Realms campaign I want to run, and we only completed the intro and first room of the dungeon. Whilst I did enjoy GMing, there’s a lot of things to remember, which made me quite exhausted! I’m hoping to finish this test dungeon this week, and will then start researching and preparing a more thorough game. As hubby has been playing The Legeng of Zelda, Twilight Princess over the weekend, I am considering whether I could run a Legend of Zelda campaign as well. I do have the knowledge to run such a campaign, but would have to find players who would be interested in this.

-The weekend was awesome, because I got to relax and do some reading. I’m enjoying reading books from women who I view as powerful and positive role models such as Amy Poehler, Tara Moss and Cyndi Lauper. I’m still hoping I can reach the Goodreads goal I set myself for the year, but it means setting aside time to read every day to do so!

That’s about it for this week’s updates. Next week, this blog will hopefully be looking different, but will be much more exciting and diverse. So, here’s signing off on the format of this blog, which I’ve had for the past two years. I look forward to sharing my new website with you next week! Thanks for reading 🙂

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2014- Week 49

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Hello again! It’s the start of another week, and another week closer to Christmas. This week in particular, it’s felt very busy as we’ve been sorting out a lot of things before the end of the year. Here’s what I’ve been up to over the past week:

-Over the past few days in particular, I’ve been prepping for the relaunch of my website/blog. My dear husband spent quite a bit of time over the weekend making me a header/logo for the new site which looks absolutely incredible. I’m starting to brainstorm on the layout of the new site, how I’ll be setting up posts and also starting to write a few posts (so I’m prepped to deliver content in advance). I’m planning to write smaller, yet more frequent posts on the site with varied content: perhaps one “weekly update”, one opinion piece, and one based on clothing/games/music etc. I actually want to start writing more about the things I know, such as living with Type 1 Diabetes and Coeliac Disease, with posts related to this including Gluten-Free dining recommendations and travelling tips etc. In the next fortnight I’m hoping to start moving the blog over, which hopefully won’t break the website or take it offline in the process. So, if you do see any weird changes or stuff not working on here in the next few weeks, please let me know. Am hoping it will be an easy process moving it over from WordPress.com to WordPress.org (which will be hosted by GoDaddy, after much deliberation).

-Curves Complete program has been average this week for me. I worked hard to pass my step goal, which I did on 5/7 days this week. I surpassed 10,000 steps on 3 of those days! I’ve also been smashing my water intake requirements, thanks to us purchasing a Sodastream to go with our new fridge. I haven’t been using the syrups, I’ve just been making up bubbly water and adding lemon and cucumber (which is so refreshing, but I must try adding mint too!). Now we have our fridge, we managed to stock up on some fresh fruit and veggies and have started making heaps of salads. However, I do keep struggling with weekends, where I tend to make bad food choices, eat more (especially if I’m gaming or bored), and don’t get as many steps as during the week. Even if my progress is slow, I’m on a plateau and I could be stricter with my plan, I’m still making progress. Considering I’ve shrunk more than 30cm since starting earlier this year, I’ve accomplished quite a lot for someone who has a few chronic immune conditions that like to throw spanners in the works. In fact, this is probably the first year in my adult life where I’ve lost more weight than I’ve gained this year (and I’ll be ending the year weighing less than the start!). That’s something to be pretty happy about 🙂

-My husband keeps encouraging to GM my own Dungeons and Dragons game, and this week I finally took the first step in prepping for this. Firstly, my husband has written an awesome post on his site for first-time GMers, which can be accessed here. It’s a great read, and very encouraging for someone like me who is quite anxious about trying to impress newbie players and experienced players at the same time. Over the weekend, I developed my first mini-dungeon for hubby’s characters to have a run-through of, and I will be making another test dungeon once this has had a run-through. It is based in my favourite campaign setting of the Forgotten Realms, however I’ll be doing a lot of reading and research over the next few weeks to really get a feel for the type of game I want to run. Hopefully, I’ll be ready to start a game in the New Year, if I’m confident enough.

-It’s also now less than a month until I turn 25. I’ll be halfway to 50 (haha…), or 5 years to being 30. And you know what? I’m feeling pretty “meh” about it. I don’t even really want to make a big fuss about it. I guess one of the main reasons for this is because of how close my birthday falls to Christmas (it’s 10 days after), which means it’s quite difficult to even try and celebrate or have a party because most people are away on holidays. Also, the two celebrations are so close together that I kind of feel like I never get to celebrate my birthday to the same extent as others who have them later in the year (I know, it sounds selfish, and I sympathise with those who also have birthdays close to Christmas). Also, now I work full-time my birthday is normally one of the first few days back at work for the New Year. Luckily, it’s on a Saturday this time, but it normally isn’t (and I normally do work on it). I’m also not the most social person (I’m pretty socially awkward, actually) and usually struggle if it’s an event where I have to be in the spotlight. I’ve also had a history of trying to organise parties, and then little to no people turn up anyway. So yeah, not too excited about turning 25…

That’s about it for this week’s update. Between running around doing Christmas Shopping, getting new appliances sorted (fridge, toaster and Sodastream) and being very busy with work, there’s not too much to write about in detail. However, there’s some great things ahead with the new improved website I’m working on…hopefully you’ll like it! Thanks for reading 🙂

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2014- Week 48!

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Hello there! Here’s my latest update:

-Over the weekend, I’ve been thinking about how to move forward with this blog. I’ve decided that, as of the New Year, I’ll be moving my blog to a private host, finally using WordPress.org (rather than the commercial .com), and also customising it more to suit the direction I want to go in. I want to use it as a more personal project to work on my writing, so whilst I will have a weekly update, I’ll be splitting the blog into sections. This will include my Curves Complete program updates, reviews on products I buy, my gaming experience and also any other commentaries. My dear husband is also going to be working on a custom header for me, and I’m hoping to move everything over in time for January 1st. You may start seeing some changes over the next few weeks, and perhaps some of my older content may go missing/not transfer over properly (fingers crossed that it does, though!), but as long as you use the url for this site, you will be able to access it. Now I feel more confident in being myself, as well as writing about myself and not caring about how small/large the reader audience is, I’m ready to take a step upwards and start a website/blog that reflects me better.

-Curves Complete was a bit stalled for me this week. After a very emotional week previously, I’m still struggling to get back into the gym with the same passion I had before I left for our honeymoon. My weight has plateaued, and I’m also struggling with getting my steps up and sticking to the meal plan. The coaches at the gym have been hard on me (which I do deserve, since I’ve been so lazy and emotionally eating), and I should have done a better job this week. I’ll be having my weigh-in today, and am hoping I get measured too so I can see some progress.

-Slowly, over the past few weeks, my confidence has been building in how I’ve been dressing. Initially, I was worried that because it was “different” to how most people dress (especially in an office environment) I would get into trouble. However, I’ve gotten so many compliments which has helped me continue to keep wearing the clothing that I *want* to wear (rather than things that seem appropriate to an office and fit me, yet are not very flattering and styles I don’t like). I’ve also gotten to the stage of saying “stuff it” in regards to what people think anyway; there’s no way I’ll ever fit the “type” suited of someone bland and who keeps up with modern fashion etc. Besides, even with my quirky style, it’s still quite a conservative one anyway. I can’t wait to add more items to my collection as I start having the style of wardrobe I’ve been dreaming of for such a long time, but I thought I couldn’t have because of my size. Very happy about this 🙂

-This week, something pretty special also happened. A photo of one of my outfits on Instagram was posted by Pinup Girl Clothing (yes, *the* epic pinup fashion company) and via Erstwilder on their social media sites. I was so ecstatic when I found out: not because I had a moment of being famous for as I felt really honoured to even receive a mention through their pages. Being a plus-size lady who doesn’t really have the typical body shape associated with a pin-up, I was concerned that I couldn’t “rock” the look well enough. However, from the shared picture, I’ve received so much love on Instagram with new likers and followers; all sharing in the love of fashion for all sizes and body types. It’s incredible being a part of such a welcoming and friendly community of women supporting each other and building up positivity in dressing how we want to.

-I spent this week getting back on the bandwagon for reading. I set myself a goal to try and read more this year, and with studying I did read quite a lot. However, it wasn’t really books/journals of my choosing. So, over the weekend, I managed to log in to my Goodreads account and realised I’m way behind in my goal to read 30 books this year (a goal I thought was a tiny, yet easily achievable one). To be fair, I have re-read several books on my “read” list this year, so I’m only about 10 books behind. Therefore, I’m aiming to have met the Goodreads goal by the end of this year. I managed to read 2 books on the weekend, and am making an active effort to meet this goal. Last night I ready Amy Poehler’s “Yes Please” autobiography, which was amazing, and I’m currently reading Tara Moss’ “The Fictional Woman”. I’m trying to read more books from women (in particular) who are inspirational to me. It’s so important to dedicate leisure time to reading, and it’s going to be a goal I’m setting myself to meet my Goodreads yearly goal.

-I’ve been feeling very down about my diabetes this week. Sometimes, it’s hard having auto-immune diseases (I have two), because people can’t visibly see that you’re sick. I’ve even had situations recently where people have thought I was faking a hypo, or wasn’t “actually” sick. Having to explain each and every time how my immune system is attacked, and how this can affect me becoming sick with other infectious conditions (due to having a weaker immune system) has been really tiring this week. It’s an ironic double edged sword: I just want to fit in and not be treated differently because I have type 1 diabetes and Coeliac disease (try to make it appear that it’s nothing too serious), yet I’m frustrated that people don’t understand that extent of these conditions and how they affect me on a daily basis. I’m getting exhausted in balancing these two worries, and I’m also feeling quite down about myself because of having these conditions. What if these conditions are holding me back from achieving everything I could? What if they are the reason I haven’t been able to process further in studies and a career? I know that in reality, they shouldn’t (as it’s discrimination), but I wonder if having them has personally affected me and made my abilities less than they should be. It’s really hard to explain, but I’ve felt incredibly sad and disappointed in myself this week thanks to my bloody invisible auto-immune diseases. My heart really goes out to anyone who is fighting the same battle on a daily basis. It’s tough!

That’s about it for this week! I’ll be focusing a lot on development of the new and improved website, and moving everything over in the next few weeks. So, these updates may be a little bit smaller/bland-er…apologies in advance! Thanks for reading 🙂

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