Monthly Archives: April 2014

2014-Week 16!

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Well, with the long weekend, I get to write this update from home whilst eating a very yummy gluten-free hot cross bun (Happy Easter, BTW). Here’s this week’s update:

-Well, I’m getting married in 5 DAYS! I am seriously so excited, and cannot wait to start this new journey in life with my “nerd-for-life”. We are so keen to start sharing all of life’s adventures together, and our wedding day is going to be our massive celebration to share with our family and closest friends. And, you know what? I’m really not feeling stressed about it anymore. As of a couple of days ago, everything has been sorted and we just need to set up the reception later this week. There literally is *nothing* for me to stress over, and I’m quite surprised that rather than being more stressed towards the end, I was quit stressed earlier on in planning, and am now calm and relaxed.

-My foot has improved dramatically since last week. Over this long weekend, in particular I’ve noticed it’s stronger and (hopefully) almost completely recovered. I’m able to walk around, and even stand for periods of time, where it’s only beginning to hurt when I’ve been pushing myself too hard or at the end of the day. I’m feeling confident about walking around for my wedding, and being able to return to full-time work hours upon returning from our mini-honeymoon. I am so relieved that things will be back to normal soon, including heading back to Curves to continue my progress for a healthier life.

-I’m going to propose something which could be classified as a bit WEIRD and OUT THERE right here. I have been contemplating about friendships for a long time now since finishing university. I am very eager to have a close group of female friends, which I haven’t really had since school/uni days. That being said, it has most likely been my fault for several strong female friendships I had drifting apart, such as being too immature/dramatic at the time, not dedicating enough time to friends over boys, or being selfish with my own needs before my friends’ needs. It’s been such a blessing getting more guy friends through Ray and our shared interests, but I really still don’t have as many close female friends as I’d like to have. That being said, I am very thankful for the number of close female friends I do have who I know are completely genuine (these are slowly growing, yay!). Anyway, I was thinking, however, that I really should reflect on all the females I used to be close friends with, and maybe catching up with those people and strengthening old friendships. THEREFORE, what I’d like to propose is this: if you are one of my female friends who I used to be close to (regardless of how/why we drifted apart) and you’d like to catch-up or have a chat, feel free to send me a message via Facebook or so. I’m very open and would love to hear from you 🙂

-Since the previous weeks, where I mentioned my lack in body confidence, I’m making a commitment to myself. Once my married life begins, I want to commit to being “myself” more in the way I dress and style myself. Too long have I chosen clothing which is black or dark colours because I’ve fallen into this society “myth” that it’s the only colour that looks good on plus-size ladies. Too long have I strayed away from fashion which I’ve loved, but have been led to believe by magazines is a no-go for fuller-figured women. Too long have I  not had the confidence to wear clothing which I love, as I feel that I couldn’t “pull it off”. So, once my last name changes, hopefully so will my attitude towards how I feel about my appearance. I’m going to make an active effort to start wearing and looking like what I feel on the inside: a curvy, quirky, retro-inspired young woman with nerdy and Asian influences. I’m going to start making clothes to “fit” me, rather than being defined by store sizing. I’m going to give that green velvet 60s dress a go as my next sewing project. I’m going to do a “cull” on my wardrobe and clear out any items which were my “safe” items to cover myself up on a crappy day. I will also seek guidance from tailors and seamstresses for when my clothing needs to be altered to fit me better. And I’m going to make a promise to myself to stop buying as many black clothing items just because it’s “safe”. I know it will be a gradual progress to be completely confident with myself, but it all starts with one step. I’m ready to give it a go 🙂

-I’ve been getting my nerd on quite a bit this week. I’ve been reading several books, including The Crystal Shard (and ongoing project), as well as playing Oblivion for way more hours than I care to admit to. Ray and I have also been playing quite a bit of old-school Mario (in prep for the wedding, perhaps?) We also went on a massive cleaning spree this week, where I was able to rediscover a whole selection of books I was saving to read during holiday times, so I’m hoping to read quite a few books over the next week or two.

Well, that’s about it for this week in passing. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to post my update next week due to being on my MINI-HONEYMOON (yayayayayay!), so apologies if the post is delayed. Thank you to all who take the time to read my updates, and to those who pass on words of advice and encouragement. As I am about to start my married life, I am feeling happier than I’ve ever been as an adult. I cannot wait to share it all with you 🙂

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2014-Week 15!

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Time for another update! This week has been full of a lot of self-reflection, so here’s a quick warning that there’s a lot of waffling in here about feelings etc, haha 🙂

-Well, there’s now 11 days until the wedding!!!!!! To be honest, I’m feeling exited overall, with very little nerves. It might be because everything is falling into place, and we’re not feeling stressed. Even when we had a few wedding planning problems occur that usually would have completely stressed me out, I remained relatively calm and collected about it. And (funnily enough) any problems we had ended up turning out a lot better than our original plans anyway, so we’ve definitely had some practical examples of “everything happens for a reason” this week! I’m surprised with how calm and relaxed I have been about it, especially the closer it gets. It’s going to be an awesome day! 🙂

-I still haven’t been able to return to Curves, as I don’t have full clearance for my work injury. I did manage to pop in to the gym to hand in documentation for the injury, and they weighted and measured me. To my surprise, even while not being at the gym for over 3 weeks now, I’ve lost another 1.5 kilos! I don’t know how, but I have! This means I’ve lost over 7kg for the wedding, which I’m pretty happy about. However, my main happiness comes from the fact that my diabetes levels are so much more controlled, making me a healthier person than I’ve been for a couple of years. I’m hoping I can return to the gym once I return from our mini-honeymoon and get full clearance from the doctors…hopefully it’s soon!

-I’ve managed to continue on my reading quests, reading 2.5 books over the past week-2 weeks. I managed to read 2 non-fictions (including Mineko Iwasaki’s biography as a Geisha), and continue to read The Legend of Drizzt. I’m really enjoying taking the time to relax and read and (although I read my books on my iPad), get myself away from technology and social media and into my own little world in a book instead. I’m definitely hoping I can keep this habit up!

-There are also big plans for me to start after the wedding: I’m really wanting to get my sewing underway again. While it did start, and was going well for a while at the start of the year, wedding planning and gym kind of took over any spare time I had. However, I think that with persistence, this is something I will be able to do on a weekly basis (at least). I’m finding fashion in stores is becoming less-than-inspiring of recent, and anything quirky and retro is either overpriced, in another country, or not for plus-size. So, I’m finding myself becoming much more passionate about taking the time to learn to sew properly, and make myself garments that will fit, as well as reflect my unique style. Here’s hoping I can put this into place soon!

-I’ve been reflecting on what it means in becoming married as well. There’s a lot of media out there that states how a person “changes” once they’re married, and people will even classify them as social outcasts and the like while they’re in their wedded bliss. To be completely honest, I really don’t want that to happen: in my mind, it doesn’t really change anything about how Ray and myself will interact with people. Yes, we’re having a little honeymoon away for a couple of days, but we’re then settling back into our normal lives with work/family, and even having friends come and stay with us to help them out. The marriage is just confirming that we’re a team for life: together, we are becoming a family unit who are destined to share life’s adventures and struggles and support each other through it. We’re destined to work hard with our marriage, and rather than giving up when things get hard, we’ll work harder at fixing any issues. We know it’s a lifelong commitment, and with that, we have other commitments too (related to family and friends) that we want to dedicate ourselves to putting into place as part of our marriage. This includes us wanting to have as much D&D sessions with our friends as we can, setting up regular movie and games nights with our friends, family pot-luck dinners at our place (we hope!) and much more. 🙂

-While I’ve had to rest up with my injury, I’ve had time to think about a few things. In particular, I’ve been seriously thinking about my career development and making a 5 year plan. I really need to identify what I really want to do as a career before I have a quarter-life crisis where I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing/where I’m going with my career. Sometimes, I get quite frustrated and feel like what I’m currently doing won’t provide opportunities for progressing into other suitable roles, or won’t lead me in the right direction for the career I want to be in. I’m worried there won’t be opportunities for me to progress, and I definitely want to be moving into other roles over the next couple of years. So, I have been reflecting over the past couple of weeks to figure out exactly what I want to be doing and where I want to be going with my career. I need to figure out exactly where my passion lies, how to incorporate this into my working life, and the type of career/career progression most suited to this, as well as a 5 year plan to match. I’ll be doing an updated performance planner soon, which includes a career plan, so I’m sure this will help me out 🙂

-Over the past two weeks, I’ve been reflecting on the “plus size” industry and its media coverage on social media. I have struggled with “body confidence” over the past few years in particular, where battling health issues at the same time has made me rather hard on myself. I’ll probably talk about this more in detail another time, but for now I’ve been looking for inspiration, and have started following the blogs of such people as plus size model and spokesperson Tess Munster (who has started the #effyourbeatuystandards campaign), as well as several other passionate bloggers. I’m hoping to dedicate some time to start really accepting my body, complete with its medical conditions and faults, and accepting that I am a curvy person who is not destined to be (most likely) ever below anything like a size 12-14. If anyone has any inspiration/motivation which you think would be beneficial, please let me know!

That’s all for now, folks! See you next week 🙂

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2014-Week 14!

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Time for another update! Daylight savings has really meddled with me, and I’m feeling absolutely exhausted. Plus, I’m getting sick with what I hope isn’t tonsillitis, but my throat closing up and barely being able to talk means it’s quite likely! Anyway, here’s what I’ve been up to over the past week:

-Well, I’m still injured and unable to return to full-time hours until I’ve made a full recovery. I’m still beating myself up, because I’m feeling guilty that I’m letting so many people down by being injured. I’m unable to work as hard/for long enough hours to help out more, I can’t do many chores around the house, I can’t do errands around town. It’s incredible frustrating for me, and I just want to be able to start doing these things as I normally would. However, every time I try, the searing pain I get from the point in my foot I’ve injured (called the 5th metatarsal…which I only know the name of as the foot specialist said it a million times at my appointment) reminds me that I have to take it easy. Every day after work last week, even though I was only working for 4 hours, I found myself having to rest with my foot raised above my hip because my foot was in pain from sitting at a desk. I really am feeling so useless, and I feel like I’m making people frustrated with my progress or inability to do enough work. 🙁

-At the same time, I’ve been unable to go to the gym because of my injury. I’ve had to come to terms with this over the past week, and realising that I may not see any more weight loss results for the wedding, and there’s the chance I might even put on some weight. So far, I’ve maintained my weight, but it’s been so incredibly difficult not being able to go to the gym. It’s become such a habit for me, and having to suddenly stop my routine and be resting means I’ve been pretty hard on myself. I have been so worried about wrecking my progress so far and undoing all of the hard work I’ve done because of this stupid injury. But, I guess a positive is that my diabetes levels have still been incredibly good (bar some high levels from being unwell), and that was my ultimate goal for the wedding, rather than losing weight. I think if I focus on how much I’ve achieved so far in my diabetes being so much more controlled, and the amount of weight I’ve lost so far…I realise that I’m definitely a healthier bride than I thought I would be. In fact, I’m probably the most healthy I’ve been for about 2 years, so that’s a massive achievement!

-I was chatting with Ray this week, and I want to make an effort to do more of the things I enjoy. I’m worried that I am becoming boring, that I’m going to let the mundane take over my life and not give myself enough time to enjoy the things I’m passionate about on a daily basis. I’m relying way too much on technology to dictate my life, where I spend more time researching the things I want to do rather than actually doing them. From this week, Ray and I are giving ourselves an hour a day to do some reading. Once the wedding is over, we’re giving ourselves an hour a day to do our own hobbies, and extra on the weekend/days off from the gym. I’m also going to keep Facebook on only one of my portable devices; the same will also apply for Pinterest and eBay. I’ll probably get rid of any social media on my iPad, so it can be purely dedicated to reading and crafty purposes. I’m really trying to spend less time on social media (because, as I’ve learned, it’s a good sign if someone isn’t on Facebook as much because they’re out there, living their lives and are not dependent on putting it all on Facebook for gratification from others for themselves). So, you’ll probably find I’m only really talking about my life in detail on this blog, rather than putting it on Facebook.

-Speaking of Facebook, I’ve come to the realisation that Facebook is taking up too much time in my everyday life. I rely upon it in a manner that is unhealthy, and shouldn’t be constantly having to check it to find out what’s happening with other people’s lives (well, even that isn’t accurate, as people only share the parts of their life that they want people to see on there anyway). There’s definitely been a distinct change from how I use Facebook since I finished university. So, I think I might try a detox from Facebook, or have a think about how I can wean myself off it.

-Wedding is all coming together, with less than 20 days to go (that’s such a small number!) Dress is almost done, and we’ve just got the wedding favours to sort out, as well as finalising details with vendors, writing up run lists for the day, and final confirmations of bits and pieces. We actually have a smaller guest number than we expected, which we’re actually quite happy about (we think it will make it more epic). I had a second hair trial on the weekend, and my hair is exactly how I imagined it would be. I’m feeling excited more than nervous or stressed, which has been the case since my Hens Party. I can’t wait!

And that’s about it for the past week’s update! Thanks for reading 🙂

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2014-Week 13!

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Apologies for the delay again…this time was due to computer issues. Anyway, here’s this week (in passing’s) update:

-As you may have read (if you have me on Facebook), I’m required to have another week off work for my injury. While the doctors have seen improvement, it’s not enough for them to be able to confirm me ready to return to work. I’m pretty sad about this, to be honest. I really do feel like the clumsiest person, who is letting the team down at work because of this injury. I really want to be back at work being useful, but I have to stay at home recovering, and am feeling quite helpless because of it. Plus, the combination of technology failing me yesterday (which I need to work from home) made me pretty upset. However, since I wrote this on Monday, I’ve attended another appointment with a foot specialist and had x-rays, where they’ve been able to approve me to drive for up to 15 minutes…which means I should be able to start back at work for a few hours a day! I’m hoping, if all goes well today, I will go in tomorrow morning for a few hours. I also start physio tomorrow too, which will hopefully help me build up strength in my foot again. I’m really looking forward to being back in the office, even if it is just for a couple of hours each day. It means I’ll finally be able to get some “real work” done to help out the team, and not have computer issues! I’ve been so bored here at home, and I really can’t wait to be starting back in the office.

-At the same time, I’ve realised that having the injury has been a good learning experience for me. As per above, I was blaming myself for the injury, because I personally felt like I was letting the office down by being injured. However, many people have “whacked some sense into me” and assured me that it’s definitely not my fault-it was an accident, therefore I don’t need to take any blame. It’s been really hard for me to come to terms with this, as whenever I do become sick/injured, I feel incredibly guilty that I have to take time off. However, on the flip side it has given me a chance to relax and take it easy, and with the wedding being so close (25 days!!!!), some time to not stress and take it easy has been really helpful for me. I’ve also been beating myself up because I haven’t been able to get to the gym (doctor’s and WorkCover orders). I’ve been working so incredibly hard with the program and going 4 times a week to the gym, plus walking every day. Going from all of this, to having to rest in bed/a chair all day with limited walking has been a massive adjustment. I miss going to the gym, and have become worried that all my hard work will come undone. However, I need to remember that the Curves program isn’t just exercise: it’s also diet and mindset/motivation. So, I’ve been having my personal coaching session by phone, and keeping up with the same meal plans I’ve been on (there’s been a couple of times where due to my lack of mobility, I’ve gotten a different meal to the plan, but have kept it as a relatively healthy option). It’s also been a great time for me to try and conquer my mind tricking me into eating because I’m sitting for long periods of time, or feeling bored-something I’ve struggled with for a long time. With all of this in mind, I’ve managed to maintain my current weight loss so far, which is the goal until I’m able to hit the gym again. Also, keeping in mind that my goal isn’t to lose a certain amount of weight for the wedding, I’m remembering that my aim is to be as healthy as I can be for the wedding. This includes resting up and not stressing, so I have a fully functional ankle/foot, as well as in-control diabetes levels, so I’m trying to keep that in mind.

-Wedding plans are really in the final stages now. Seriously, everything seems in control and we’re just needing to finalise payments for the big things. With 25 days to go, it’s all coming together for us. I feel…a type of relief in knowing that regardless of what happens from here, we’re most definitely getting married! 🙂 My dress is coming along so nicely (it looks amazing!), and I just don’t feel as stressed about it all anymore. We’ve received the majority of the RSVPs, with only a couple needing a friendly follow-up, which has been great. Ray and I also had our Hens and Bucks on the weekend. Both events were kept small, for family and close friends, but we both had an awesome time. My hens was absolutely incredible, and would be the most fun I’ve had in a long time! The girls night out started in Luna Park (my first time there!), where we went  on many rides, and even got cartoon portraits done. We then progressed to dinner at the most amazing Teppanyaki place on George Street called Hisshou Teppanyaki. It was my first time have Teppanyaki, and it was absolutely incredible! The place had this wonderful ambiance to it, plus the chefs were very entertaining…and we were so full in the end from our “meat banquet” selection that we all resigned to the fact that we had “meat comas”. I highly recommend this place to anyone, and cannot wait to get back there for more meals. We then progressed to our chosen Karaoke establishment, where we were told by the security of the place that “unless we could read Chinese, we should go somewhere else”. He then recommended a place in the middle of Chinatown called Dynasty Karaoke. We made our way there to discover the most swanky, welcoming karaoke club. There were no private rooms available, so we resigned to the public karaoke area and stage. This was the best decision, as not only did we not have to pay for karaoke, but we spent the night singing classics from the 80s-00s (including Disney songs) with a group of very enthusiastic young-uns like us. It was also pleasant, as we still were able to talk without having to yell…quite uncommon for a club/karaoke area. We ended up deciding to call it a night at about 2am. What was fantastic was the closeness of everything for the day, which meant my leg didn’t have to do much walking at all. Overall, I had an amazing time and I’m so thankful for the girls I got to share it with. Definitely going back to all of those places in the future!

-I’ve been playing some more Oblivion when I’ve had a chance over the past week (on the rare occasion that our computers want to work). Is it just me, or is Oblivion WAY easier than Morrowind? I’m finding it heaps easier to progress in the story line compared to the older Elder Scrolls games. I forgot how much I liked the open-endedness of the Elder Scroll games too. For me, a not-too-serious gamer, the story line keeps me hooked, while the lack of difficulty makes me feel like I accomplish more in the game anyway. The only problem is that Ray wants to play Oblivion now too…but I haven’t given him a chance to as I’ve been absorbed in my game! I’m definitely hoping to finish Oblivion, and the eventually progress to (finally) Skyrim.

That’s about it for the past week. Being restricted to bed-rest means nothing *too* exciting has happened, but it’s given me a lot of time to “think and feel” about stuff, so apologies for all the feels in the update. Thanks for reading! 🙂

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